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Communication as an Art of Living: The Philosophy and Practice of Talking with Each Other

Author(s) : Bernhard Poerksen, Author(s) : Friedemann Schulz von Thun

Table of Contents

Praise for the German Edition

Preface

The Dialogic Principle: A Preface by Bernhard Poerksen

I. The Big Questions

1. The Communication Square
Searching for the key sentence
The power of the receiver
Hermeneutics of the listener
In praise of misunderstanding
History of an idea
Of humans and machines
Application of a model

2. Maxims of Comprehensibility
The practice of parody
The four comprehensibility dimensions
Karl Popper’s taunts
The three-world typology
The limits of communication

3. Vicious Circles and Relationship Dynamics
No beginning and no end
Victims and perpetrators
Power comes from obedience
No more either-or
The simultaneity of different things
Autonomy and dependence
The double focus
Theory and biography

4. The Ideal of Congruence
The narcissistic dilemma
The primal need of the soul
Abraham Maslow’s rant
Maximum and optimum authenticity
True to self and situation
The situation model
Higher-order sovereignty
From norm to option
Leading a congruent life

5. Communication with the Inner Self
The parallelism proposition
Self-paralysis and self-sabotage
The charisma puzzle
Stages of self-clarification
A pluralism-friendly attitude
Against exile
The power of metaphor

6. The Values Square and Views of Human Nature
The third quality
A guide to dialectical thinking
Farewell to one-sidedness
Varieties of integration
Human nature
Freedom and conditionability
Stanley Milgram’s experiment

II. The Concrete Questions

1. Communication Psychology for Managers and Executives
Double-vision consultancy
Triple pressure
The integral leader
Higher-order compromise
The values square as feedback square
Explicit and implicit meta-communication
Competition means dependence

2. Communication Psychology for Teachers
Freedom and coercion
One child’s school experience
The construction of self-images
Training the swan perspective

3. Communication Psychology and the Construction of Reality in Intercultural Communication
The ambiguous kiss
Justifying the norm
First- and second-order reality
Understanding versus refutation

III. The Last Questions

1. Happiness and Death
The end of communication
Self-determination and acceptance of fate
Vicious and virtuous circles
The certainty of uncertainty

Searching for Congruence in Communication and Life: An Afterword by Friedemann Schulz von Thun

Selected Bibliography

About the Authors