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Intimate Warfare: Regarding the Fragility of Family Relations

Author(s) : Martine Groen, Author(s) : Justine Van Lawick

Reviews and Endorsements

It is in families that people have the biggest chance to be threatened, slapped, beaten, molested, sexually abused or murdered. The authors, both systemic therapists, address the dynamics of intimacy and violence in family relations. In this book they integrate theory and clinical practice that captures the central themes around violence in families. They deal with the dynamics of violence from different perspectives. Issues of power, gender, shame, revenge and politics are addressed. When violent behaviour has ceased, revenge feelings of the victim can be the starting point for a new cycle of violence. In this book revenge rituals are suggested to negotiate this phase. The authors present clearly how harmful it is for children to grow up in a violent home. They also outline the possible harm to psychotherapists themselves, in a chapter that deals with the consequences for psychotherapists that work frequently with violent cases. Burn out and symptoms of secondary traumatisation are described as well as possible methods to prevent this. A special chapter of a guest author deals with the treatment of violent men.

'Intimate Warfare describes brilliantly how tensions build up in families, how these can spiral into violence, how such violence can be curbed and how people can be taught different ways of managing confl ictual situations. The book refers to the changing roles of men and women in recent decades and the confusion and tensions that go with this. The authors convincingly relate their approach to the ever changing historical and political settings and contextualize violent behaviours by embedding these in the social and family environment. Intimate Warfare deserves a wide readership and not only amongst systemically oriented clinicians. It is essential reading for all those who are passionate about working with violence in families. This book not only complements other recent publications on this important subject, but is an important new contribution to make the family - and the world - a safer place.'
- Dr Eia Asen, MD, FRCPsych, Systemic Practitioner Consultant; Child, Adolescent and Family Psychiatrist

Contents
1 Home and hotbed
2 Together you will progress
3 The downward spiral of violence between partners
4 From ill-behaviour to relational behaviour
5 The coherence between shame and violence
6 Rituals of vengeance
7 The reproduction of violence
8 Of young rulers and terror at home
9 Perpetrator-counseling
10 The therapist as a person
11 Apprehensive heroes